posted by Sharon F. Blakeney on Mar 25
If you’re reading this odds are you are either going through a divorce or custody battle, have been through one as a party or as a child, or know someone who has. Although the divorce rate has declined slightly in the last couple of years, family law cases are still the overwhelming majority of cases filed in civil courts each year. According to National Center for Health Statistics data the number of divorces per 1,000 population in 2006 was 3.7, fell to 3.6 in 2007, and dropped again to 3.5 in 2008. In Texas there were 79,469 divorces in 2006, which dropped significantly to 77810 divorces in 2007, and then dipped slightly to 77,649 divorces in 2008. The specific reasons for the decline are unknown, though some speculate that in this difficult economy, “[m]any couples may be rediscovering the long-standing sociological truth that marriage is one of society’s best social insurance plans,” says W. Bradford Wilcox, sociology professor and Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.
To anyone who has suffered through a divorce or custody battle, some reasons to avoid them are obvious. The time, expense, and emotional stress involved is draining. However, whether by choice or against your will, you may find yourself in family court. Having more than ten years of experience in family law, both as an attorney and a single mother, I’ve learned a thing or two about how to survive the battle with your integrity, your pocketbook, and your mind intact. The most important thing to know is you should never brave it alone in family court. Some people try to save a few bucks by skipping the lawyer and representing themselves in divorce or custody litigation. That is a serious mistake. While family courts are among the lowest in terms of judicial hierarchy, in many ways they are the most powerful because of the tremendous numbers of families and amounts of private money they control. Other than facing a criminal prosecution, most citizens are never forced to surrender such a large amount of their civil liberties to a governmental entity outside of family court. For example, the standing restraining order that goes into effect immediately upon the filing of a divorce or any other suit affecting the parent-child relationship in the 198th & 216th Judicial District Courts include restrictions upon a citizen’s right to free speech, parental rights, right control their own money, property, travel with their children and make changes to retirement or insurance plans. Those restrictions can be made permanent in a final order, which means the court’s control over a citizen’s civil liberties doesn’t always end when a divorce is final, even if there are no children involved.
Additionally, a “bad” final decree of divorce or order can have permanent damaging effects. Without the benefit of counsel to explain the legal meaning of language contained in a final order, a party can unknowingly waive important rights, enter an agreement that fails to accomplish their goals, or agree to something they never intended to approve. Once signed by a judge and made permanent, it can difficult and sometimes impossible to modify an order that deprives a party of valuable property rights or liberty interests regarding their children. Family court is not a valley to walk through alone. Even if you have to borrow money from family, a bank, or a retirement account, make sure you hire an attorney to represent you in family court. You’ll be glad you did.